Question: I've been really moved by lots of your pointers. But I'm still not seeing it--this pure awareness that you and others are talking about. Help! What am I doing wrong?
Rodney: I can certainly empathize with your frustration, having spent 20-plus years seeking solutions to questions very much like your own. But try not to see it as a matter of right or wrong. That only mucks things up. And who needs that!?
Basically your answer lies in your question. You are assuming that there is an "I"--a person--there to perceive this presence. There is no such entity. There are simply thoughts and perceptions appearing in awareness. In your case, there are concerns arising about why "you" aren't recognizing the truth of your being. That "you" is just a construct. You are the awareness in which concepts are appearing. Again, you are the awareness in which thoughts are appearing. Full Stop!
What you are doing, unfortunately, is attempting to perceive your fundamental nature with a thought! Can an idea or notion recognize anything? No, it is merely an object in presence. It is there one moment, and gone the next. It's like a desert mirage: It can no more provide you with water or relief than the sand around you.
Awareness, however, is your living reality. Give your attention to the immediacy of that fact. For this isn't something you get or achieve in the future. Such thinking throws you right back onto the conceptual slag-heap. Why? Because time and space are just mental inventions to help us live in the physical world. Concepts certainly serve their purpose, but they aren't your essence. You are the awareness in which they manifest. Look no further than this very moment to see who and what you are. Then you'll discover that what once was not discerned is now shimmering in plain view. And more vital still, that you are That.
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