Question: Hello again, Rodney. I'm really glad that the "Falling from Error" posting has gone down so well with people.
Rodney: It has indeed. Your bright and polished insights about your own questions and seeking greatly moved a number of readers. My part was small: I just corrected a few issues, and re-focused your attention on that which has capti-vated you from the start: Awareness itself. You already have a strong and intuitive "feeling" for this. It's just a matter of your seeing it clearly.
Q: Yes, to see clearly--though at times, it appears (at least) a bit overwhelming. I'm just a Notting-ham housewife who, at moment, has a lot of time to herself. I've long had these spiritual questions and concerns. I rather enjoyed the works and residentials of Tony Parsons. But of late, I have been earnestly exploring your and John Wheeler's interviews and writings. And I must admit, this feels very much like home to me. I am really at a lost to explain it.
Rodney: There is no need to explain. When you resonate with someone's pointing, a deep and indescribable feeling is there. It's a connection, of a sorts, that is both pristine and eternal. In short, presence is caressing presence. This is one of the reasons for your occasional (and lovely) upsurge of tears.
Q: In last week's blog entry, you touch on a point that really resonates with me. You're right -- I have had the hope/expectation/imagining of an Event, a "Something" That Will Happen when I somehow stop being me or change into a better me or see the world entirely differently or become everything....I'm sure they are all the usual variants that our minds entertain.
Rodney: Yes, they are simply notions we have about this supposed event. We've gathered these assumptions through the years (even decades) from thoroughly incorrect spiritual books and teachers who claim that "Enlightenment" is, among other things, bliss, rapture, visions, catatonia, psychic powers, personality shifts, etc. It's none of those, of course. It's not even "enlightenment," which infers a condition or a non-natural occurrence that must be achieved or entered. On the other hand, a direct seeing or understanding of your natural and ever-present state involves not a single step away from who and what you are at this very moment.
Q: And yet, there is this apparent awakening that occurs, as with your silent, Big Bang-like experi-ence and Tony Parson's walk in the park.
Rodney: Yes, but it's much more of an appercep-tion (a perceiving with full awareness) than an awakening. But "awakening" is easier on the brain and tongue. So it is readily used, which is perfectly fine.
Q: Could you talk about that "non-event" a wee bit more? Not yours, personally, for I know you are loathed to speak about it much anymore.
Rodney: Everyone comes to this recognition differently. But nearly most agree on the hush-ness and the ordinariness of it. But it certainly has extraordinary aspects also: The peace, the translucency, the spaciousness, and the ever-present "OM" that reverberates through your Beingness (at least with this body/mind). I now see why it has been used as a mantra by seekers for thousands of years. One of the most common definitions of OM is that it is the name of God. When your seeing is clear, you will note not only how apt that name is, but how powerfully it points to both God and awareness, which ultimately are the same thing. A more accurate and telling definition of OM is that it is a primordial sound within--not of--awareness. But again, early seekers and facile teachers went the imitative route: Chant OM, and you will "become" OM.
Q: And, of course, nothing happened.
Rodney: Nothing but headaches, leg cramps, and chronic frustration. But if you were to take a moment to look deeply into your own stillness at this very moment, you might very well be privy to the utter obviousness of your innate and eternal "song." And though this is a little difficult to put into words, you will also find that there is no apparent difference between OM and your boundlessness. One could just as well be the other. But I digress...
Q: Actually, that bit of digression is apt -- for I just listened to the second-half of your interview on Urban Guru Cafe the other night, which made me really laugh in parts --especially the bit about people going to India to try to "get it" at Nisargadatta's place, as if by osmosis. For years, I've felt that going to India to "find oneself" is a kind of denial of one's own innate wisdom.
Rodney: Right, our subjective Light and wisdom is already shining. Indeed, its radiance is so clear that one could easily overlook it. And that, precisely, is what is happening with seekers the world over. When I meet with people, I some-times give the following analogy between light and awareness: Light can only be seen when it strikes an object, such as tiny dust particles. Similarly, awareness can only know itself in conjunction with consciousness. When we recognize our natural state, awareness is recognizing itself. Thus, peace, clarity, and freedom are genuine, nonconceptual attributes of our natural state. But we wrongly think that we are our bodies, beliefs, thoughts, genders, ethnicities, occupations, and even souls (i.e, an eternal "me" that is destined for either Heaven or Hell). We are awareness proper, not the manifestations within it. Just sit with this and allow yourself to truly see the magnificence of this brief, straight-forward statement. Again, you are awareness proper, not the appearances within it.
Q: It shall be my clarion call for at least a fortnight! I'm joking, of course.
Rodney: I sort of figured you were...No, contemplating it with your next pot of red bush tea will suffice quite nicely, thank you.
Q: Or I will hear the kettle whistle, and that will be the end of it.
Rodney: And what a fine and proper end it will be.